I remember crying with children's books nw1

bargains, hairstyling, african american, children: young adult (gr. 10 12), scene, sophisticate's, design, macintosh desktop publishing, housewife 101 , nw1, sistas, I got my first pretty-good haircut in my 40s, and my first great haircut in my late children's books 50s. My mother, knowing it would cheer me up in my drab situation, and perhaps in penance for lost time, children's books started giving me gift certificates for inexcusably expensive haircuts at Bumble & bumble, which had been recommended by her gay hairdresser and dear friend (a great guy who also cut children's books my grandmother's hair and has cut mine and most of my sisters'; he's given to oracular, spot-on pronouncements like "Your whole family hides behind the intellect"). The very first time I happened to get one of their best (and most expensive) stylists, a poignantly innocent artist who cuts and plays with hair as if it was sculpture, and who actually travels around teaching other people how to do it. And damned if we didn't also bond in the ancient and honorable relationship of a woman and her gay hairdresser, and exchange intimate confidences while he revels in the almost metallic properties of my hair.
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I remember crying with frustration. There were years in between when I gave up -- either whacked it off short or let it swell into a shapeless mass in the summer humidity. Nobody ever taught me how to take care of it -- how to get the right kind of haircut for coarse, thick, nw1 wavy nw1 hair, how to use "product." My mother was (still is) a great natural beauty who didn't have to do a thing to be ravishing, and so she never learned or transmitted nw1 any of the arts that the rest of us need to feel presentable. It took till I was 40 to grow out of her shadow and begin to feel attractive (paradoxically, just in time for time to make me less so). I began to dream I was the pretty woman instead of the pudgy, plain, wistful one she was being mean to.
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